Teaching kids about the value and cost of gifts

Last weekend I caught up with a few mamas who have children of similar age as my son. We were talking about gifting for children (my fav topic!).

My friend Jen mentioned how her oldest daughter would have a tantrum if she would not take her to the shops to buy a gift for her friend’s birthday. And her daughter had to choose the present. Non-negotiable as she said.

Sarah said that her older child had no interest in shopping and could not care less.

Same age kids, same age mums, but contrasting behaviours. The reality is that every kid is different, have their own interests and look at things from different angles. That said, their behaviours are also a function of their environments.

For example. Jen said that when her daughter was really young, she used to really encourage her to come shopping for gifts with her, like a bonding experience where the little girl (back then) could also help her mum choose the present.

Meanwhile, Sarah never bothered taking kids for a birthday shopping excursion. She would rather get something on the go, between school drop offs and that was it.

Despite their different circumstances, both Jen and Sarah were equally concerned about educating their kids about money and the value of things, including what they give to others. Both mentioned that they were spending too much on gifts for school friends and it was hard to stick to their budgets while also buying something they thought worthwhile or something their child would ‘approve’ them to get. I’ve heard the same comment from dozens of mums, who deal with lots of birthday parties (= lots of gifts to be purchased) every year.

Educating our children about money, spending, costs and value will likely dictate their behaviours as adults. Kids who have a disregard for the cost of things will likely continue to do so as adults. Kids who do not appreciate what they have will likely turn into spoiled adults. And vice versa. We harvest what we seed, generally speaking.

So it comes down to us parents, the hard task of educating them while being conscious of their age, development and mindset. The sooner we start the better. Just accepting the child’s behaviour and avoiding the topic will be something that a parent will most likely regret later.

So where do you start? Here are some simple gifting-related tips that every parent can follow:

#1 – Set the ground rules before shopping: If you are taking your child to a shop to buy a gift for someone, make sure you explain to him or her what the budget is, why it’s important to stick to that, etc. That will smooth the process and make the child look at both items and prices.

#2 – Explain the purpose of the gift: the conversation should go beyond just the money involved. It should be about the usage or benefits of the gift. Teaching kids that gifting is about giving something that will help or benefit the receiver will make them think differently about buying stuff.

#3 – Let the kids do the homework: So there is a birthday coming soon at school. Encourage your child to do the homework on what the birthday kid has, needs or wants. That would give the child and parent some parameters and gift ideas to look for – while sticking to their budgets.

#4 – Explain the benefits of contributing to something greater: Typically your budget will limit your gift options. But in case you were invited by another parent to use Purposit (yeah!), get your child to be part of the contribution process. Show him or her the gifts, the comments, etc .This is a great opportunity to teach your kid about how that same $20 can help give her or his friend something greater that he or she will enjoy and benefit from.

As you can imagine, those tips are much easier to follow or implement when the kids are younger, as it gets harder and harder to change their behaviour as they get older. But as hard as it may sound, parents should not be discouraged and do their best to get their little ones to be appreciative of things and understand the value of items. “It’s still easier to teach them as children than once they turn into adults”, as my mum likes to say.

My tips were really focused on the gifting side but there are some great tools and apps available to parents these days to help educate their kids about all things money. If you want any suggestions, just drop me an email.

What about you? Got any tips on how to deal educate your kids about buying, spending and gifting? Share with us!

To your child’s future,

x Johanna