The temptation to overspend on your first baby

We recently got a call from friends who are expecting their first child. They were wondering if we had baby-related things that they could use for their upcoming little treasure – from nursery items to clothing or toys. And we sure did have quite a few things to give them.

I think what they are doing is quite smart. However, many of us struggle to do that with our first child. Being rational and understanding that a lot of what we buy will be used only a few times (or sometimes never) is easier said than done.

Why is that the case? One of the reasons is that having the first child is an incredibly emotional experience. Of course it is an exciting and fun time to prepare for the much anticipated arrival. But also, expecting parents are usually completely out of their comfort zone, trying to come to terms with the upcoming changes to their lives and dealing with the unknown about birth and beyond. I was definitely quite insecure and anxious about doing everything right for our first baby.

This puts parents-to-be in a vulnerable place, which is prime territory for marketing and baby retailers. Add to that the overload of information on the internet, and we find ourselves going for brands and expensive items just on the assumption that the more it costs, the better it must be for the baby. Prams, cots, changing tables, etc…With our first son, we also overdid on clothing, nursery items, etc. I mean, how many ‘baby entertaining’ items like arches with hanging toys and bouncing vibrating chairs does a child need?

Another reason is that we may want to have another child in the future so we won’t need to buy those items again. Sure, but if you don’t use it with the first one, why would you with the second? And can they actually use it or wear it if you have a boy instead of another girl (or vice versa)? In retrospect, we could have done with fewer items, but nobody ever told us not to, and that is also part of the issue – not an excuse by any means – but a contributing factor.

Unfortunately, parents do not get a lot of help in terms of what they really need to buy and what to avoid when it comes to the first baby. But there are a few simple tips that most parents-to-be can follow to avoid the ‘baby buying frenzy’. Before you go bananas shopping, have a read at the suggestions below:

• Ask friends: chances are that you have friends or relatives with young children. They will probably have at least a couple items that are likely to be in good condition and they will be glad to be giving them to you.
• Ask work colleagues: this is another place where you will find mums and dads with recently used or barely used items which may be just what you need.
• Buy items with longevity: as a new parent you are unlikely to resist the temptation of buying a few new things (or more than a few). Try to focus on items that can last for many years and can possibly be used for multiple purposes.
• Charities helping families: once you had your kid and realised that many things you bought are not useful anymore or were barely utilised, look for charities that help families and single parents in need. Dandelion is one of our favourites, helping mums and families in distress with valuable nursery items, clothes, toys and linen for babies and kids. One word on charity – it is not a dumping ground for stuff you don’t want or need. Make sure you give something you would be happy to receive yourself, so before donating please clean the items and test if they are working. Most charities do not have the resources to fix toys and can’t pass on items that are not safe.

These are all simple steps but can probably save young parents a few hundred bucks, which they could put aside for their yet to be born or just arrived treasure. It is never too early to save for your kids, especially when it comes to costly events like education and travelling. For more on this topic check out Mario’s recent blog post on the power of saving early for children.

At the end, parents will still buy some items that are not needed at all but that’s fine. As long as it does not get out of hand, a little treat – for the baby or the parent – is harmless. The one thing your baby or child can never get enough is love! And that’s free!

What about you? What item have you bought for your baby that you later realised was just a waste of money and space? And what items proved to be useful for longer than you though? Share with us!